Negotiation is that skill most of us admire from afar, as though it’s a superpower reserved for the few who know how to wield it with grace. The reality? Negotiation is more like a muscle: The more you stretch and use it the stronger and more flexible it gets. From securing a promotion at work to sealing the deal on a crucial business deal, or even deciding who washes the dishes tonight, having the skills to negotiate gets you squared away; awkward standoffs come to mutually beneficial agreements.
But here’s the catch: In real life negotiation is not straightforward. It’s not about who’s loudest or who’s got the flashiest credentials. Negotiation is effective when you bring empathy, strategy, patience and sometimes even a good sense of humor to the table. It’s less of a battle, and more of a dance, where there is an ideal outcome for both parties of the dance leaving feeling they’ve landed on the right foot.
So what makes for a good negotiator? In this episode we’re going to break it down from preparation to mindset, techniques and the backdoor art of trust and trust building. By the end, you’ll be better at standing up for yourself, will maintain respectful relationships, and maybe find some fun in the process.
Understanding the Core Principles of Negotiation
With that said, it’s useful to define exactly what it means to negotiate before we move toward tactics. It’s not “win,” as in forcing the other side to give up. The best negotiators see the whole process as a mutual exploration of your needs and possibilities. You want to surest get what you’re after but you also want to ensure that the other person feels heard and respected.
Moving from Confrontation to Collaboration
All too many people go into negotiation believing that it’s a duel. However approaching an issue in a confrontational manner only increases tension and puts the other party on the defensive. On the other side, collaboration brings on creativity. If you’re able to make both parties work together to solve the problem, you’re more likely to come up with creative solutions and solutions everyone will stand behind.
The Power of Mutual Benefits
When negotiations end on a bad note, meaning one party feels resentful toward the other party, they inevitably unravel later down the road. Work to strive for outcomes neither side will feel was taken from. Coming out with a win-win not only means you’re winning what you need here and now, you’re also building good will and trust in case you need to go back and deal with that exchange multiple times.
Preparing Thoroughly Before You Start
Negotiation mistakes?
Explanation:
When Bruce Jack, master negotiator teaches us never to talk with who, or to scream or shout or see how far they can push… Winging it. Negotiating without preparation is like showing up to a marathon unprepared. But if you survive, you’re going to hurt. When the talk starts, you want to have confidence and adaptability, and thorough preparation will set the stage.
Defining Your Goals and Limits
Be absolutely clear in your mind and have no doubts what you’re looking for from the deal. List out these must haves, nice to haves, and don’t want haves. It keeps you focused on setting a clear range of acceptable outcomes. If you know your baseline (i.e. what’s the lowest salary you’ll accept, or the absolute minimum arrangements that you would consider acceptable), you’ll avoid making those last minute concessions that are based on emotion which you will come to regret.
Researching the Other Side
Do your homework. Learn about what interests, motivates, constrains, and governs their decision making. The better you understand their ‘perspective’, the easier they will find it to agree to your proposed solution. It is also possible to strengthen your position if you have objective data such as researching market trends, industry standards, and the like, and even researching typical salary ranges or pricing models.
Cultivating the Right Mindset
The right mindset is a must even for the best prepared negotiator. There needs to be confidence and empathy hand in hand. Confident, not afraid you’re going to cave at the first sign of resistance because you don’t know how they’re going to react, and empathy, tuning in to their signals and their emotions (but in a different way to you would imagine it).
Balancing Confidence and Humility
It’s not about making your chest puff out or acting like you’re the king of the land. And it’s about bringing value to the table and communicating about it in a calm way. A layer of humility should be placed with confidence—you acknowledge the other party has valid needs and their perspective is respected. Balancing all this makes you more approachable and more persuasive.
Managing Emotional Reactions
Negotiations can get tense. A lowball offer can make you frustrated, anxious or even insulted. Reacting on impulse is not required — learn to pause and breathe. A calm even tone can help defuse tension, and keep the rest of the conversation productive. Think of it this way: Only when you lose your cool, do you lose control. Usually, steady composure is the way to better outcomes.
Core Techniques for Successful Negotiations
Well then … your homework is done, you’re tuned … now what? Now let us examine some practical techniques by which you can cause the conversation get to a satisfying conclusion.
Listening More Than You Talk
Surprise: great negotiators can be great listeners. Letting the other side explain their needs first will make you get great insight. If hearing what they have to say out loud will help you see where your interests match, it will make your job much easier in coming up with proposals that really sell. You nod, look at them, and ask follow up questions to show that you’re trying to understand.
Asking Open-Ended Questions
Never ask questions that can be answered with basic yes or no. Instead ask, ‘What are your main priorities?’ or ‘How do you perceive this arrangement helping your company?’ Open ended questions open up to asking the person you ask more or they get the chance to reveal more details and thus provide you with a wider view of their interests. It can also supply you with this extra information that can help you to come up with mutually beneficial solutions.
Anchoring with a Strong Opening Offer
In many negotiations, the first number or proposal that comes out on the negotiating table will set the rest of the conversation. This is known as anchoring. But creating a strong, well researched offer sets a benchmark. But be prepared to back up your numbers or terms with logical thinking and data, because having arbitrary numbers won’t sound as credible.
Emphasizing Value Over Price
In salary negotiations, contract negotiations, or any deal where there’s money involved, remember it’s not always about the final dollar figure. If this is the case, you may be able to negotiate some additional perks, work hours with a little flexibility, additional professional development, or extended warranties. But by focusing on non monetary value, you can fill some of that gap, where raw numbers won’t cut it.
Building Rapport and Trust
On its face, negotiation is about people. Remember, even if you’re at a conference table together in crisp business attire, you’re talking to another person with feelings, worries and aspirations. Rapport is a way to change a cold transaction into a warm collaboration.
Finding Common Ground
It could be that you both came out of the same school or that you both like hiking or root for the same underdog sports team. Mention these points of connection, it that can make the atmosphere friendlier. This won’t ensure a better deal, of course, but will make the dialogue more human and tone adversarial.
Showing Genuine Appreciation
When the other party makes a concession or gives you helpful information, don’t take that for granted. Acknowledge it! There are plenty of simple ways to tackle this that can go a long way, too; a simple “I really appreciate your willingness to consider my perspective” goes a long way, as does any willingness to explore the issue outside the thermostat. People want to feel valuable; feeling valuable gets people to work with you rather than against you.
Handling Obstacles and Sticking Points
Not every negotiation is going to be as smooth as running upstream. At times the other side will resist, bluff, or even play to corner you. These are the times when you’ll be tested, and tested hard.
Knowing When to Walk Away
It’s a classic piece of advice, but it’s vital: We encourage you to have the courage to walk away if the deal doesn’t meet your minimum criteria. If walking away doesn’t have to be a dramatic, “Here I am leaving”, it can simply be a spoken “It looks like we can’t come to an agreement that is fair to both of us right now.” Ironically, by disengaging we are sometimes able to get the other side to reconsider.
Proposing Multiple Options
In the event of hitting a wall, try giving two suggestions for how to proceed. Presenting options (for example: You’re showing flexibility and creativity if you can go to your partner with a slightly higher salary and shorter contract term (or a slightly lower salary and longer contract term) in order for them to get more stock options. It allows the other party to operate the room and shows that you’re committed to working toward a hopefully workable solution.
Learning from Each Negotiation
All negotiations are learning experiences—even the good, the bad, and the ugly ones. Then, once the dust has settled, you can reflect. What worked well? What felt awkward? What tactics did the other side do well with?
Keeping a Negotiation Journal
A simple, old fashioned journal can be useful for tracking your progress. Remember what strategies you use, what outcomes did you receive and what you would do differently next time. After weeks and months, you’ll start to see patterns. You may even see you have a strong rapport building ability, but that you fold too quickly on price. By understanding these patterns, you are able to improve.
Seeking Feedback from Colleagues or Mentors
Don’t be afraid to ask for input. If you negotiated inside your company, ask a trusted colleague how they see it. Were you assertive or aggressive in your coming across? Had you clearly explained your value? Well given feedback can help you to spot your blind spots and improve your approach.
Applying These Skills for Career Advancement
Learning how to negotiate isn’t just about nabbing better deals with clients. But it’s also a path to advancing your career. Negotiating a raise, a promotion or new responsibilities at work can provide a bigger salary, reassurance that we will progress in our career and let you be happier in your job.
Highlighting Your Achievements
When you’re looking for a promotion or a raise, it’s really like that’s a negotiation of what value you’re bringing to the organization. Then, make a list of as many of your contributions and successes and projects that went above and beyond expectations that you can. Craft your request to put yourself and your value in context by including how you’ve helped the company grow, solve a problem, or exceed goals.
Timing Your Requests Strategically
It’s not only a waste of your valuable time, but it also reflects poorly on you and, if all goes to plan, can make you look bad if your timing was bad or you just aren’t being polite. Timing matters. Picking a moment when the company closed a milestone, or when your manager is more chill, is the way to go. Timing is good because it improves your chances for receiving a positive response.
Conclusion
Being a good negotiator is something that constantly changes and is both art, science, and good ole’ fashioned human connection. The best negotiators aren’t running over people or emanating a barrage of detailed buzzwords. They listen, prepare deeply, keep their cool under fire, and truly seek conclusions that are respectful and honoring, every last person.
Refining your negotiation abilities is an ongoing process and each interaction is another step on the ladder. You’ll be more confident; more empathetic; more skilled at creating agreements that advance your career while also creating win win relationships. With patience, practice, a willingness to learn from mistakes, you’ll turn negotiation from a test of nerves into a powerful personal and professional growth tool.
LekFex 